Friday, December 30, 2011

Lil bit of lovely

My gorgeous friend who is State-Side, Rachel, posted this video on Facebook.

500 Days of Summer is one of those "got to love it" movies. If you haven't watched it, do thyself the favour.

It is just too adorable - Zooey Deschanel AND Joseph Gordon-Levitt - because they KNOW we will never be able to get enough of them together.

Enjoy, a little bit of lovely cuteness ahead of New Year's Eve.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

How did I miss this??!

Dineo Lusenga was in for Sash this morning, and she asked me if I'd heard of "Sophia Grace". Well, I hadn't, but Dineo is now my favourite for introducing me to this:

A little, pommie, white kid with THAT much swag? Nah-uh! But wait, there's more!

I could die from the cuteness. But it's more than lolcats cute. Such confidence! It's so great to see a child who's been brought up without that doubtful child-complex. (You know the ones who have the 'grown-ups know better and I should thus shut up' complex?) Such a treat.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Another one:

Stuart Hobbs sent me this on Facebook too. It's Stannis Baratheon speaking. Who's voice is that? Stephan Dillane. I thought it was Faramir's (that guy from LOTR and 300) voice, but alas.

Here it are:

"A Clash of Kings" teaser trailer...

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll already know how addicted I am to the Songs of Ice and Fire series of books by George R.R. Martin. This is of course the series of books that gave us that amazing TV show, Game of Thrones.

A Game of Thrones is the first book in the series. The second is called A Clash of Kings.

And we're a few months away from series two…

This was a fanmade youtube thingie. but watevs.

Didn’t you just get he heebie-jeebies?? I mean, it shows you nothing from the new series, bastards. Everything else seems to be along the same lines. Spring 2012 probably means it’ll be out in the US in May. Which also means we’ll be waiting a while, but at least there’ll be a better trailer by then.

Here's another that has some "spoilers":

It's a bit confusing, because in A Clash Of Kings, Daenerys' dragons aren't quite that large. They did use scenes from the later books in A Game of Thrones too though, so no harm I'm sure. 

Play Resumes…


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

In a Land Far Away, Long, Long Ago

Some say we should get back to a more rustic way of life; being at one with nature and our god given utensils etc. Experience how fortunate we are to live in the time we live in.

The smell of manure.
The greasy fingers after eating a chicken and roast with your hands.
The long and complicated monologues of entertainment.
Participating in silly dances at the order of a superior.
Using a wooden stick to bang on a table instead of applause.
Unimaginable BO. Un. Imaginable.
Getting drunk. (Hey, some things stay the same.)

All of which can be found at Greensleeves, that little, and very old entertainment plot outside of Jo’burg.

I suppose I should be more descriptive.

There was indeed mud and slush, as it had been raining, so “check”. Even got mud in my shoes. They do, indeed, make you eat with your hands, and punish you with ridiculous dances should you fail to feed someone else. Clapping apparently used to warn people off,should someone have a certain nether-region disease, so the stick-banging was a favourite. The MC does warble ad nauseam in his hot potato tone, yacking the rules.

But the BO must be confusing you. “Caw! Isn’t that going a bit far?” you may wonder.

As you can well imagine, people in medieval times smelled, quite literally, like swass. And so do the outfits at Greensleeves.

Now, I’d been there before a couple of years ago, and hated it so much that I swore on my life I’d never go back. Granted, I wasn’t with the funnest group of people. So when I was asked to go to a year-end function there last week, I was petrified. But I went, because this time it was an awesome group of people. My kinda possie.

We had a great time, getting pissed and shoveling meat into our mouths like savages. But Jesus, did those outfits stink.

People *ACTUALLY* get married there... 

If you’ve never been there (lucky you), what happens is, you book, and your costume is included. So once you get there you go into a big change room, pick an outfit, then go up to the hall for the, er, festivities.

This time, when I walked into that changeroom. I could smell the ass. I thought it might just be all the traffic in the place. But alas. I took two dresses into a change booth to try on. Put on the first, blue velvet: siff now, waaay stylish in 1492. Looked alright, but thought I should throw on the black one just to try.

I could not get out of that thing quickly enough. Oh my fuckeroo, I have never smelt anything like it. You know sweaty gym shorts that get left in a gym bag, and aren’t washed for a week? It smelled worse than that.

Not alone in this exposure to swass-covered costumery, and luckier, some of our party had no choice but to don an unfortunately-fragranced frock.

So this is the picture: a small-ish hall packed with about 70 people, eating with their hands and wearing BO robes.

This is actually the big hall - couldn't find a pic of the smaller one we were in.

Hey, if nothing else, they achieved the historical accuracy.

The evening is fun if you’re with good mates and if you’re keen on booze. If not, don’t ever go there. The food is edible, nothing to praise. The MC and musician were good. Just too many activities – after a while, people just want to be left to their boozing and heckling. The musician was better at guitar-playing than singing, but we urged him on nonetheless, being drunk enough to sing along to his Jack Johnson covers. (I know – what??)

Some of the "official entertainment"

But the whole idea is a bit dated IMHO. The opening monologues are okay, ‘cause everyone’s in the mood and feeling all jovial and jolly and shit. But after the two starter courses, they insist on doing a whole shpiel of “punishing” those who fed themselves, by making them all dance. For a really long time. It’s long-winded and boring. And the waitresses don’t serve while the show is on. THE FUCKERY.

It’s different, but not quite my brand of awesome fun, so I think I’ll be keeping my promises to myself in future. ;) 

Monday, December 12, 2011

The "Expert" Opinion

(DISCLAIMER: I've had one of those fantastically rejuvenating weekends, so I'm feeling pleasantly positive and generally patient with the human race. I wrote this rant, I suppose you'd call it, on Friday, after going through everyone's comments on Drive.)

You know what’s lovely about the still pre-law info-bill South Africa? The fact that we’re still allowed to have an opinion on ANYTHING. And Saffas love having an opinion.

What I love even more is the opinion on movies, music and books. Movies are art, in any form, because they’re unwaveringly subjective. It’s either your cup of tea, or it’s not. That’s why we talk about films with friends – to find out what other people thought; maybe give yourself a different perspective. Films are talking points. And that’s what makes their role in society so important.

(No, not every movie contributes so society, don’t get me wrong. A lot of them are made for pure entertainment value, and of course money.)

So why does the film critic, or even reviewer, still exist, when we’re so content to have our own opinion and stick with that?

It’s simply because we understand the things that separate one movie from the others. We know how a movie is made, we know how it’s constructed. We understand the cinematography, mise en scene, the deus ex machina – something employed very effectively in the movie I’ll talk about in a second, motifs. I could go on ad nauseam. But I don’t need to explain that pompous, theoretical crap to you – it’s obscure and tells you nothing you really WANT to know about the movie. But reviewers or critics in particular use the knowledge of those practices to judge how effectively a movie has been made. Or how much thought has gone into it. Because it’s the technicalities in certain movies that tell you more about it’s message; why it was made and what it’s trying to do.

I studied post-modernism, feminism, Greek theatre, Greek history and Greek mythology, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, modernism, existentialism – I’ll leave it at that – in order to understand the motivation for making movies. Even the skop-skiet-en-donners use The Heroes Journey and other solid Hollywood techniques that I studied. The point of this Nonhle-tendency self-serving CV, is that (to a degree) I know what I’m talking about.

Reviews from people who aren’t “film educated” are also great, because they’ll often just give you a point of view purely in entertainment value. I try write my reviews like that, because let’s face it, only a drama lecturer gives a shit about the theoretical application to film. The viewer reading a review before watching something couldn’t care less about the tones, acting techniques or references to older movies. That’s also why Channel 24 has reader reviews.

I’m going to use the recent experience with Drive as an example, because I urged viewers going to the Nu Metro screenings to tweet their opinions. Now, if you DID watch Drive, you’ll know it’s most definitely not everyone’s grain of oatmeal. So I expected the largely female audience to hate it. Specifically since I’m sure they were imagining Gosling in his Crazy, Stupid Love form. Firstly: no naked Ryan, and secondly: gory, bloody violent and moody. I was thoroughly enjoying everyone’s shock – because it’s exactly how I felt watching it. I was cringing and uncomfortable in my seat the whole time, not to mention gasping in horror every five minutes. And some people hated it. More people loved the surprise and novelty of a movie that effective. I reiterate – that is why movies are great: we all have different opinions.

What I don’t love, however, is people trying to substantiate their dislike by pseudo-critting it: by commenting on its crap cinematography and weak plot… These are of course the same people that think Instagram makes them a photographer, so I shouldn’t be paying them any attention. But, I’d hate to tell you, Drive has some of the best purpose-suited cinematography I’ve seen.

Cinematography isn’t always about tricky angles and new ways of filming – it’s about serving the story, serving the tone and mood. That’s the whole point of knowing what to look for – knowing why each and every thing it set out in its specific way. The score and soundtrack were part of that too, for those who didn’t ‘get it’. It’s because it’s an action movie that’s echoing the silent, stoic characters of older action movies. And it was awesome, so, with all my vocal might: SHURRUP. In addition to that, the plot was hardly weak. You may have noticed there was little dialogue. If you’re a smart movie watcher, you’ll have realized the plot was being told in every second of silence. It makes you interpret things; it makes you think about how you as the character would feel – THAT’S how the story is told. It’s pulp fiction in some senses.

Speaking of which, another ‘criticism’ by the pseudo-experts was the “unnecessary” gratuitous violence. When one is shot at close range with a shotgun, ‘tis not a thin stream of blood that emits from the temple. Your head fucking blows off, innit? And I’d be willing to guess that some of these critics are huge fans of cult classics, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill etc. So Tarantino’s cut off limbs spurting out more blood than the human body can hold, is somehow more acceptable? (Don’t misunderstand – I love those films.) The excessive is entertaining, but the realistic gore that made people so uncomfortable in Drive is kinda the whole point. You’re not supposed to ENJOY it the way you do in Tarantino movies.

I have no reason to be defending Drive, that’s not what my rant is about. It has its flaws, of course. Not a perfect film.

My point is, there is a difference between having an opinion and having an informed opinion. Or knowing and understanding why you dislike something. I thought it was a natural process to feel a certain way about something, and then assess why you feel that way. As a social human being, you then have the backing, should you need it, to explain your opinion. And you know what, screw everyone, if that’s how you feel, that IS the end of it.

But please, do yourself a favour. Don’t purport to know what you’re talking about, and make an arse of yourself. Leave that to the pros, huh? We enjoy looking like tools. 

Friday, December 9, 2011

Official "Drive" Review

The trailer for this movie doesn’t give us too many expectations. You think it’s some kind of getaway driver, badass gangster movie. You might think it’s a bit of a thriller, even a love story. You could even guess that it’s a racing movie with a sordid-past plot.  I suppose in that way, the trailer gives us a hint: We’re not really going to be able to predict anything.  Drive is a multi-layered, multi-dimensional and tightly knit plot. There aren’t any hastily thrown together occurrences for the sake of violence or action. It’s woven together like an intricate Persian rug, with every single action in the movie having a reason and a consequence. There is most definitely an heir of mystery, but never of unintended confusion. There’s also shock so palatable it’s better described as disbelief.  And yet somehow, it doesn’t rely on cheap scare tactics or totally obscure plot twists. There are moments of bloody gore, but our bodies do tend to bleed profusely when maimed in one way or another. And that’s what I loved about this movie: I didn’t anticipate or expect anything...

(click here for the full review...) 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A Little Jo'burg Whinge

The Lost City, Sun City, The Palace, Valley of Waves – the whole concept was befok when Sol built it. Gambling was also illegal everywhere, which is why it needed to be out in the North West.

I can’t call myself a frequent visitor – at all – I’ve been there twice. Once when I was about 12, and again about two weeks ago. I bought my parents tickets to see Josh Groban.

I think I can call the experience a steady downward spiral.

Firstly, I haven’t been privy to this little rule hotels have, which tells us we cannot stay there for one night over a weekend. Obviously they want to capitalize on their weekend income, but it’s straight up bullshit. Even half the lodges just outside Sun City demand a minimum of two nights. After trying to find a reasonable solution, and even considering booking two nights IN Sun City – and finding their prices to be hilarious – we decided to drive there and back.

This is no trip to Pretoria, mate. Solid two and a half hours. In fact, three, because the last 70 kilometers are on a pot-holed road with kids and goats running around everywhere. Not for the faint hearted, but we were left with no alternative. I’d also been assured that the drive wasn’t THAT bad, and figured it would be doable with four of us in the car to keep driver awake and on his toes.  

Unfortunately, when casinos in cities were made legal, it was bound to give Sun City a punch in the nethers. We have Monte Casino, pretty ideally placed in the middle of Jozi. Even Emperor’s Palace – despite how much I HAAAATE it and its parking issues. There’s no need to drive three hours to go gamble and be dodgy. We can be dodgy right here.

But then I figured, well, they have that wave valley, and the Palace, and that bridge and stuff – it must still have SOME appeal, right?

That place is falling apart.

I didn’t venture outside the Cascades and general entertainment area. But what I did see did not entice me. The lifts are old. The carpets have not been redone since Sol built the place 31 years ago. And they smell like it. The air-conditioning doesn’t work. In the superbowl, in the movie theatres – schvitsing nightmare. And it seems very small. Maybe that’s just post-Vegas Kimmeh, with all the huge casinos I’ve seen recently.

I don’t mean to be slating, but impressive it was not. The restaurants are great – good food, not so expensive that you may double-take after thinking the prices are in Zim dollars. The movies are latest releases, even though there are only four cinemas. And no air con.

And my folks really enjoyed Josh Groban. But that’s not to Sun City’s credit, that’s because he’s a great entertainer who engages his audience. According to my mom. (I didn’t watch the show, you see.) But the Superbowl was boiling hot, and the very expensive front row seats were those plastic bowls you sit on in school halls. Poor mummy had to shimmy and shake for about twenty minutes after the show to get the feeling in her bum back.

My point, after this long-winded description, is that there is no longer any point to hosting events in Sun City. Other than the Nedbank Golf Challenge. Or poker tournaments maybe.

Perhaps I should be more specific – there is no good reason to have concerts at Sun City. And I’m bitching and whining, because Michael Buble is coming to SA, and will be performing at… Sun City.

(I wont launch into why I LOVE MB, it’s a personal choice okay! Get bent.)

It’s like those selfish friends, who have almost no friends or family in Cape Town, but insist on getting married at a wine farm there. You have to fly your ass there, get accommodation, probably for a whole weekend ‘cause the bastard hotel wont let you book one night only, pay for dinners and lunches and even get presents for the rat bastards.

A lot of us say this to those friends:

And we don’t go to their weddings.

But I WANT to go to MB.
And I really WANTED to take my parents to Josh Groban for their xmas pressie, ‘cause they really love him. And that sacrifice was hundreds, they’ve had to schlep much further for me.

But I think the expense and fa├žade that is this Sun City shpiel (to be topped off with boiling inside a glorified potjie pot) is not worth it for me.

Sorry Michael… Maybe next time.  

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Stoner Chronicle 2: A Mere Lesson, for the kiddies.

The original Stoner Chronicle got me thinking about what a surreal experience that year was. As you can imagine, there’s a lot more to deal with than arb videos on the internet.

The flat was cohabited by me, and two friends. Stoner Friend and Study Friend. I call her Study friend as a matter of irony – she hated studying. Despite being a super genius.

Now, Stoner Friend had been staying in our flat over the very long varsity holidays when Study Friend and I had been at home with our folks. During that time Stoner Friend and her loser boyfriend and his/their stoner possie decided to make our flat the mother-ship.

Because Study Friend and I aren’t particularly fond of confrontation, we failed to bring up the awkward unacceptability that was having her entire plantorage at our teeny tiny flat every effing day. They were annoying, and broke our coffee mugs. Perpetually. This led to an entire year of having to deal with them, and their smoking up our (TIIIIIIIINY) flat with their cheap jutt.

One member of the possie was actually a really sweet dude. He’d had some spinal issue when he was a baby, so he was tiny, and looked a bit like Adrienne Brody – which I think is awesome. He was very movie-smart, and the only one who seemed to respect that the dwelling actually had inhabitants. There was Stoner Friend’s boyfriend, who Study Friend and I openly hated. And their tall friend, who thought he was infinitely smart. He played piano, and would carry on about what a genius Beethoven was, cuz, DUUUH. But Study Friend and I mostly ignored him.

‘Til that day he argued with us ad nauseam about how the West Indies were, in fact, in India…

And he would not budge.

Proof kids, that smoking too much dope makes you stupid, and damn insistent upon proving it.

Monday, December 5, 2011

The "Whether You're A Stoner or Not" Chronicle.

While I'm making you watch awful slash scary slash hilarious stoner videos, I thought it just that I include what's possibly my favourite video on Youtube.

And no, surprisingly, it's not a Lonely Mountain vid. Wait, Lonely Island? Ya. Lonely Island.

Something that you should watch a couple of times, because each time you watch it, it just gets funnier, and funnier and OH LOOK I'M PEEING!

pfffffffft, "LOOK OUT FOR THE WALRUS!"

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Stoner Chronicles

I was having an idle chat last night about a friend of mine who had a rather odd stoner possie. Those broke, student stoners have a special skill when it comes to finding all the weird shit on the internet. This is before they manage to collect a good catalogue of weird, artsy and/or scary movies, of course.

There is some fucking weird shit on the internet. Not that I’m stating the obvious, or anything.

There’s the basic stoner stuff that’ll get the infrequent, light stoner into a fit of giggles. Like Charlie the Unicorn:

The. Fuck. EH?

As with all things in life, there’s moderation. And those who have no idea how to exercise it. That’s how this little gem of a series was created. The stoner possie informed me that the animator actually writes these things on acid trips. Which isn’t hard to believe. Watch this with lights on, and possibly some happy music on standby. It is as creepy as Aunt Petunia’s quivering arse. Salad Fingers:

I do understand that you will need this now:

Thursday, November 24, 2011

DRIVE Screenings!!

There’s no denying that Ryan Gosling is just a small slice of heaven. And that, he’s like, so hot right now. Those brooding eyes, that cheeky smile, those pecs…

And he’s not just aesthetically pleasing – he’s a damn talented sonofabitch. Which means he’s not only a lady’s man, but a man’s man too. He’s becoming one of those actors whose presence in a movie kinda guarantees it’s awesomeness.


I was lucky enough to preview his latest movie that’s getting MAYJAH Oscar buzz already. It’s called “Drive”. As you may have seen on Twitter, even I struggled to find the superlatives to describe it. It’s refreshingly different. It has a phenomenal soundtrack and score. It’s shocking – whether you’ve seen the trailer or not, you’ll have no sure expectations. In short, it’s just a superbly awesome movie. I can’t really give anything away, so I just have to urge you to do yourself a favour and watch it.

I’m even luckier though.

Nu Metro has been AWESOME enough to give us THREE pre-screenings for “Drive”.

They’re all on the 8th of December at 20h00 – the movie officially opens on the 9th.

Cape Town: Canal Walk
Durban: The Pavilion
Jo’burg: Hyde Park

I’m giving away about 400 (ya – FOUR HUNDRED) tickets.

Email me, and I’ll give you and THREE friends tickets to the venue of your choice. There’ll also be some fantastic freebies on the night, including complimentary popcorn and a coke. BUT mostly, you’ll be some of the first lucky buggers to see the hottest flick this year ;)

This is winning in so many ways, I could just KAK.

Go aaawn: email me, with "Drive" as the subject:

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Anti-Vegan Movement (My latest Channel24 cloumn)

I've honestly been taken aback at how people have reacted to @GrantNash's choice to be vegan. So much so, I got a column out of it: 

I'm going to sporadically slot it "I’m not a vegan" in this post. Just to remind you.

Some would say "vegan is all the rage" at the moment, suggesting that veganism, like Atkins, is some kind of diet fad that will fade with time. Vegetarianism certainly didn’t. Much like religion, I'm not really 'bovvered' what your preferences are, as long as you don’t expect me to agree.

 [I'm not a vegan]

My colleague, Grant Nash, is a very dedicated and genuine vegan – upon which I shall later elaborate. Since he switched over, first to meat-free Mondays, then to vegetarianism, and finally to full-on vegan, the response to his lifestyle choices has fascinated me.

We meat-eaters seem to violently defend our omnivorous choice against vegans, as vigilantly as Catholics resisted the push of the Protestant church. We start spurting out obvious reasoning, like, "animals were put there to eat", "where do you get protein from?" and "you shouldn’t need to take supplements for your vitamins!" When we all really know the truth is that vegans put far more thought into what goes into their bodies than we do. Let’s be honest, most of us don’t have a bloody clue what we’re shovelling into our gobs. And we don’t care. As long as we’re not fainting or vomiting afterwards, we just consume.

 [I'm not a vegan]

It’s the manner in which I’ve seen people react to Grant’s choices, particularly on Twitter, that got me thinking about this at all. They get REALLY ANGRY. And they really don’t like that he’s made this choice. It seems, to them, that his choice to not eat meat is somehow betraying "the natural order", and thereby threatens the meat-eater's way of life. We meat eating folk do love our vleis. I can’t imagine a world without bacon, fillet and biltong. Another truth is that the vegan’s ideal is indeed to do just that – stop our dependence on mass-produced meat products. So maybe the die-hard meat fans should be resisting Grant and his fellow vegans like an invading army. 
Click here for the full column, and to comment.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Oh Redudant, Reduntant Tweeps...

There’s a little niggle that’s been niggling my niggles for a bit too long, so that’s what blogs are for, right?

I know many people blurt things out without thinking. Cliff and Scott being our more recent examples. Some people may also tweet things out without thinking. But most of us put at least a bit of thought into our tweets. Unlike speaking, you have the time to double-check and scrutinize. Not to say we think about each tweet for hours, but we do think about it before publishing.

Now, as someone with a few followers, I tend to check the grammar of my tweets, along with any potential ambiguity or unintended controversy. I say “unintended” controversy for a very specific reason. If there is something ‘controversial’ or possibly offensive in a tweet of mine, you can be fairly (80%) sure I put it there with full knowledge and total intent.

If I swear:
I’ve T-Y-P-E-D out “f-u-c-k”, “s-h-i-t”, “c-u-n-t”, even. That means, dear cretin, that I MEANT to swear. Your telling me that “I have a filthy mouth”, or writing “Potty mouth!” or that “I shouldn’t use such language”, is redundant. Congratulations Captain Observation. If you don’t like it, congratulations, cheers.

If I blaspheme:
Similarly, I’ve typed out “J-e-s-u-s C-h-r-i-s-t”, etc. I know what I’ve said. And it should be fairly obvious, from the fact that I have TYPED it out and published it, that I have no moral qualms. And don’t care if you do. You are welcome to your opinion on the matter, as you are welcome to your beliefs. But if I gave a shit, I wouldn’t have typed it for fear of offending you. So don’t tell me I did. I don’t care. You may ‘tsk tsk’ and unfollow, whatever you like. Don’t lecture me.

If I express an opinion:
I love a good reply with a grounded rebuttle. Cussing me (as much as I enjoy a good vloek) without forming your own opinion isn’t really going to get a reaction. Or at least a good one. Come at me if you must, but have some bullets in your guns, charna.

I love replies to my tweets – it makes the conversation that much more interesting.

But FFS, stop TELLING me what I’ve said. I fucking know. I typed it.

Over and out. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Strangest Email I've Ever Received...

On Youngblood 5 today I featured a very cool event, called Slutwalk, which orignated in the USA. It all started when a police official in the U.S. recommended that women 'don't wear slutty clothing, to avoid being raped'. Naturally, uproar ensued. To find out more about it, visit Slutwalk Jo'burg's website.

Usually feedback for YB5 is positive: it's people wanting to get involved; it's people wanting to donate; people wanting to find out more; people just wanting to say thanks to those making a difference. This afternoon, however, I received this email in reply to today's feature, in which I interviewed Sandi Schultz, who is a rape survivor and organiser of Slutwalk JHB. This is a complete copy/past, except for his name, which I have courteously omitted:
Hi Kim. I ASSUME it was you who was doing the recorded interview with the Slutwalk lady. I am always disturbed when people or bodies are allowed to solicit for donations or cash from the public via 5FM, (or any other broadcast medium for that matter). 5FM seems to be pretty random though, allowing any kind of ne'er-do-well to beg for cash on air. Is the Slutwalk thing a Registered Charity? (for example). Some of us may think that the aims of the people begging are noble, some of us may not. I hear loads of con artists on 5FM every day. Besides the con I thing that 5FM should be politically neutral and not be used for fundraising or promoting political agendas. (by all means entertain me with YOUR opinions, but don't PROMOTE political agendas) Sexual abuse is not pleasant or entertaining. Certain of these nasty social pathologies do not even pertain to the 5FM audience (except as a cash cow). Please entertain me instead, don't try to indoctrinate me or beg for money. Regards P***n Politically oppressed white male If you send me a blank (or unblank) e-mail as a response I'd appreciate it, thank you. 

I didn't realise non-profit organisations asking for donations equated to 'soliciting'. He doesn't seem to want ANY NPO to be given ANY exposure on ANY medium.

He's also so 'concerned' that some of the orgs I've featured are 'con artists', and that 5FM features these 'con artists' every day. He's worried about the political agenda being promoted...

He'd also appreciate to not be 'doctrinated' or for our YB5 causes to 'beg him for money'.

Now, as a public broadcaster, not only do we not have any political agenda whatsoever, we're not ALLOWED to have one. You can find each an every cause featured on YB5 this year, here. P***n, if you're reading this post, please feel free to browse these causes, their accreditations and how they've helped their respective communities. You are free to point out any political affiliation, and any sign of corruption they may be guilty of. If you think we're so stupid as to feature an unlicensed NPO.

Now, having tried to be PC above, I simply must get a bit angry.

The men and women I've spoken to each and every week have GIVEN UP THEIR LIVES to help their causes. Jes Foord, who ran Durban Slutwalk, is a rape survivor who was gang raped, and instead of shrinking away, she started a foundation to be a comfort to other women who go through that ordeal. Her foundation is now her life.

Now, it may be a bit higher grade, but as NON PROFIT ORGANISATIONS, P***n, they do not make an income. Meaning, they rely on donations, sponsorships and patrons. Whether you like it or not, these causes rely on their communities. Whether you realise it or not, these orgs are making a difference in our country and in our communities.

5FM is the perfect platform for these causes to get the help they need, and as a station that's all about our listeners, it's of course not only our prerogative to help, but our pleasure.

I'm so sorry, P***n, for taking up three minutes of your entertainment on a Wednesday, and a random minute here and there throughout the week. No, it's not pleasant to talk about rape and sexual abuse - what do you think it's like for the people who have to deal with that trauma every day for the rest of their lives? And these women (I haven't spoken to a male survivor as yet) are the strongest, most successful and inspiring women I've ever spoken to.

When it comes to YB5 complaints, I expect the odd angry mail because a cause they're passionate about hasn't been mentioned. Because when people are passionate about something, they go all the way.

I never, in my life, thought I'd get an email as ridiculous as this. Not only completely missing each and every message we've sent out, as political and solicitous, but reducing peoples' hard work to begging.

I spit on you, P***n, and hope that at some point you'll escape your bigot box. Not everyone HAS to support a cause, or donate to one - but I think even those who aren't actively involved in charity work of some sort appreciate the people who are out there doing it. I know they are, because they email me and tweet me to tell me as much.

If you can't find it in you to even simply ignore the weekly causes, I implore you, to shut the fuck up.

Now, I'd like all you to reply to this guy in the comments below, I plan on sending them to him. Thanks. xxx

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


If you’re a huge James Blunt fan, you’ll know he’s coming to SA from the 24th to the 30th of September. For you Durbanites who always bitch about concerts, guess what?? He’ll be there too!! Yippeeeeee! And, catch this, even PE charnas. Of course he’s doing Jozi and Slaapstad too.

The good news is that I have TWO James Blunt albums to give to you!

But wait! There’s more!

If you’re the lucky winner of the albums, you’ll be automatically entered into a comp to win TWO TICKETS to one of the concerts! HUZZAH!

What do you need to do?

Head over here and purchase any JB single (or album of course – you gotta sing along at that concert, ne?). You can also buy it in store.

Then email, and tell him WHY JAMES BLUNT SHOULD BE YOUR MAN! Include the city you live in and the receipt/barcode number of your purchase at any Look & Listen or the Look & Listen website.

Good luck ;) Go buy a new bra to throw at him too. 

Friday, August 12, 2011

Awesome women to support!

If you listen to the show, and specifically to Kim's Corner, you'll know I do a rather cool feature called Youngblood 5. It's 5FM's way of giving back to the community, and helping awesome causes in SA.

Obviously, being Women's Month and all, i focused on some rather spectacular women. Each of them has survived and fought to make SA a better country. And they've made incredibly positive things come out of trauma and difficulty.

First up, there's Hip Op Granny, Aggie Hatrick, wife of Jerry Hatrick. She's a cool old bird who needs help for her pals at Rand Aid Retirement home in Edenvale. Full of spunk! Become her friend on facebook to find out more about Rand Aid, and her, and follow her on twitter for her hilarious quips.

I then spoke to a young woman who really proves how big the human heart can be. Kirsty Watts was only 14 when she was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. Even though she was going through weeks of chemo, radiation and invasive operations, she looked at the other kids around her and wanted to help them. And so the Kirsty watts Foundation was born, Kids Helping Kids! Check out all the amazing work Kirst and her foundation do!

Speaking to Jes Foord probably welled up the most emotional response I've had to any of the causes I've featured on YB5. At only 23, she has turned around the horrifying experience of being gang raped in front of her father, into a safe, comforting place for rape survivors. Having been through the experience, she knows exactly what kind of help a woman needs after being raped, and has created a haven for survivors to go to. Find out more about her incredible work here.

Our last amazing lady to be featured in August is Leanne Opperman, who started Krazee for Kripples. She suffers from one of the rare forms of muscular dystrophy. Despite her limitations, Leanne is a total adrenaline junky, and sees no reason why people in wheelchairs can't jump out of planes and drift 'round race tracks! And while she's doing her crazy stunts, she's raising money for the Muscular Dystrophy Foundation. Check out her Facebook page.

Click to follow Jes Foord, Hip Op Granny and Krazee 4 Kripples on Twitter.

To find a cause that you'd like to put your heart into, check out 5FM's Youngblood 5 page.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

"The Missing Beat" - My First Channel 24 Column

One of SA’s biggest brands is accused of being actively unpatriotic. 5FM has responded well to the accusation, explaining radio format and the music selection process: this isn’t about defending my workplace. I inadvertently will, because frankly, you couldn’t be more wrong than to accuse any South African broadcaster of being anti-local. It’s not that simple.

Read more here. 

This topic has been discussed almost too much recently. But you're welcome to add your two "sense". 

Monday, July 18, 2011

What I think of Mel Gibson's Beaver...

Medication and therapy have both failed Walter Black (Gibson), leaving him with only one other option: a deep bottle of booze, and a short jump off a shower rail. In his drunken stupor, Walter finds an old beaver puppet, which accompanies him through his unsuccessful suicide. And it’s the beaver that saves his life.
 I used to love Mel Gibson. And let’s make no mistake, whether director Jodie Foster likes it or not, The Beaver ultimately became all about Mel Gibson. This former fondness allowed me to put aside less fortunate events in Gibson’s recent history and watch The Beaver as if nothing had ever happened. I’d urge you to do the same. Because The Beaver is nothing like any movie you’ve ever seen... (read the full review) 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011


A very awesome fellow bloggerer helped me fixed the pic uploading problem. We are thus cured of the dull world of picturelessness.

Praise cheeses.


Only 3 More days to put SHOES ON FEET!

You may have seen me tweeting sporadically about the Put Foot Rally. It’s an awesome trip to support Bobs For Good, Bob Skinstad’s charity. The gist of BFG is putting shoes on chilluns foots. Find out more about what they do here.

The teams travelling with Bobs For Good through seven countries in Southern Africa have been delivering some shoes on the way. And there’s amazing footage and photos of some very, very happy faces as they receive a pair of sturdy, tough shoes. The team I’m openly supporting is Shoes on Feet. They’ve been blogging and keeping us up to date for the past two weeks, so if you’d like to see all the awesome work the Put Foot Rally has been doing, click here.

The reason I’ll be punting this post ALL DAY is because there are only three days left. The teams are trying to raise as much money as possible for BFG, and in so doing put a lot more shoes on a lot more feet!

C’mon - it’s the beginning of the month, you have a tiny bit of cash extra that could go to a really good cause, and really be appreciated, by some very happy faces :) Click here to donate just a little bit of moneys. And write #sheosonfeet in your message :)

This is also one of 5FM’s Youngblood 5 causes.

Let me know what you think about it!!

Friday, July 1, 2011


OKay, I'm not that angry, but intensely agitated might sum it up.

I have not been able to upload pics all week. Along with many other blogspot users. They say the problem has been fixed, but alas, I find it has not. FOr me, anyway.

I have resolved to keep blogging anyway. The posts might be a bit pap with the 'thousands' words a picture contributes, but meh, right?

@#*!! @#*&SA!!!!

Eh hem.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Blogging about Blogs

I know, like it'th THO ironic, eh?? It'th like I'm a hipth-ter and don't even know it!

Moving on...

Caught my initial glimpse of Creepy Miranda on Hurricane Vanessa's blog (on the right there as one of my favourite blogs). And, I, like, LOLLED. In fact, nay, I LOL-ROLLED (lololololololololololol = LOL ROLL, original instance copyright of TIts McGee). Argh, gaad, I have no attention span today - veeering off.

So, Creepy Miranda is quite evidently a lesbian. But she is a kak-funny lesbian. The blog is full of funny cartoons, which with time, will help you get to know Miranda better. Her taste in women, her pervy antics, her junk-food obsession. Just click and love.

Okay I'm calm.

Just click on the link. You might want to do a few lunges in preparation for the ab workout you're about to get.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Randall, The Wildlife Homo

I must first give credit where it's due: my mate @followthebounce posted this link of Facebook. Absolutely killed me. Not much needs to be said, other than CLICK ON THIS SHIT.

This one was via @LeighAnnMol, who also saw the first one Bounce posted, and decided to explore Randall's commentary. I'm going to slowly work my way through them. Ha-lol.

Thank me later. ;)

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Cute Kiddy Flick, I didn't hate

I usually HATE children's movies. Not animations - I love animations. Films with characters portrayed by real, live humans. They're always cheesy and lame, with kids who can't act. Thank peanuts for Jim Carrey.

Channel 24 Review: Mr Popper's Penguins

There’s a certain expectation that comes with a Jim Carrey movie. The rubber-face expressions; the over the top antics; strange loud sounds that turn out to be real words. Some people love it, other people detest it. I’m happy to say that no matter which side of the fence you’re on in this regard, you’ll enjoy his take on Mr Popper.

A young "Tippy Toe" spent his childhood waiting excitedly next to a long-distance radio transmitter for the very sporadic contact from his dad. But, the older he gets, the less he believes in his Adventurer dad, who’s always found his exotic explorations more important than his young Tippy Toe at home. The grown Popper has an excited charisma about him, and along with it, a ruthless sense of opportunism and business savvy. As a divorcee, his biggest challenge is winning over his very sensitive teenage daughter, and keeping his young son on his team. When his father dies, he leaves Popper a rather intrusive inheritance: six Gentoo penguins. They’re the most family-orientated and loving of all the penguin species and they go from ruining Popper’s perfect New York life, to changing his perspective. And his decor choices. But can the new sentimental Popper handle disappointment, and stop himself from going back to his safe, controlled world of coaxing and manipulating?

Click here for the full review

If you have some kids to entertain, this movie is definitely a good choice. Won't drive you nuts.