Sunday, November 7, 2010

The KAK Gatsby

I fear I may have uttered this sentence in this very blog, but just in case you don’t know: I love movies. I wont go into the whys and wherefores, just know this.

[Baz Luhrmann - Director]

And it’s for this reason that I’m often reading about movies before they’re made. It’s good to be in the know, you know? So when I read that Baz Luhrmann was going to be directing a new film version of “The Great Gatsby” I was excited. When I read that Leonardo DiCaprio would be starring as Gatsby himself, I was drooling. After that it’s a matter of not casting Paul Rudd as the narrating Nick Carraway and finding an accomplished actress to play the muse of all Gatsby’s doings: Daisy.

[Duh. Okay fine, Leo DiCaprio - Gatsby]

I loved the book, and I also didn’t take for granted how incredibly important Daisy is to the story. I mean, DUH. And she’s more than just the superficial, fickle flirt - her character has to be approached with the same bi-polar delicacy that Liz Taylor used for Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” (Note - I said the character needed to be APPROACHED in the same way, not that the characters are in any way the same.)

[The most recent Gatsby attempt starring Mira Sorvino in the disputed role. She did it justice.]

So can you conceive; can you fully GRASP the agony with which I came upon the rumour that none other than Blake “Boobs Legsley” Lively was up for the role?? I mean, for all things fucking sacred in literature! Yes, the girl is gorgeous. She’s tall, she’s T&A, and she’s Hollywood’s “It” Girl thanks to some heavy petting from Anna Wintour. But tell me, Baz Luhrmann, is this reason enough?? Lindsay Lohan would be a better bloody call FFS, at least she has all of two facial expressions. The only acting prowess I’ve ever seen from Lively’s “Gossip Girl” performance is a slight tilting of the head in disapproval and shock. And happiness. Much like the Steven Seagal of teen actors.

[The Lovely Boobs Legsley]

And the problem with this decision, should it come to fruition, is that it blatantly illustrates the nature of Hollywood. It’s not Luhrmann casting the equally beautiful and talented Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge. It’s putting Kylie Minogue in the role of “Satine” instead of the Absinthe Fairy. That comparison doesn’t even cut it - at least Kylie’s charming. I’ll spell it out: it means even an accomplished director still feels the need to put a pretty, useless (or pretty useless, whichever you prefer) actress in a movie for the sake of grabbing the attention of a younger generation. Despite the fact that you have LEONARDO Di-FUCKING-CAPRIO signed and sealed for the lead.

[Michelle Williams - she's starred with Leo before - GOOD chemistry! C'mon!!!]

So what’s the question then? Why not use Natalie Portman? She always “It” and “happening” and “stunning”. Not to mention infinitely talented. Why not use Scarlett Johansson? She’s not as broadly-able as Portman, but she could pull it off. I take back my Renee Zellweger suggestion from Twitter - that was a terrible idea. There’s Rachel McAdams, there’s Amy Adams, there’s friggin Michelle Williams (HELLO? How awesome would she be?) - I could go on for a page. I repeat, what is the question? Does he not want a strong actress overshadowing his hero? Erm, doubt it. The man has played opposite Kate Winslet (twice) and Jack Nicholson, and more than held his own. I hardly think that’s an issue. Does he want to give an as yet unaccomplished TV actress a shot? most-likely. But how BLIND are you? There’s a time and place for new talent. And this situation is neither the time, nor the new talent.

Suffice to say I will be BLEAKLY disappointed and the possibility is high that I will actually not watch the film when it comes out in 2012 if they decide to cast her. And from recent reports, Leo’s not one to interfere too much with the casting process. Even though the rumour came from a large crew dinner which included Luhrmann and DiCaprio seated across from the poor victim in discussion.

Enlighten me - tell me I’m wrong. Please. It’ll ease the rate at which my head is about to explode from bafflement.

(I'm vying for Michelle Williams - I think she'd be spectacular.)

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