Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Discovering I'm a Screamer
Waking up at 4.30am is always going to be a challenge. Whether it's the actual waking up or the delayed exhaustion that kills you depends on your own niggles, i suppose. I am victim of the latter. Been waking up like a hot-gang over-excited rooster. But come 11am slash 12pm slash 1pm, I'm a goner. (haha, thought that read: boner, for a sec.) This is problematic if you're an all day worker. It's even more problematic, I believe, if you have to handle heavy-machinery. Ya. Most days I'm driving back on the highway during my slump. And dozing off at the wheel is not recommended, comrades. Not recommended at all. But I do get holy-fuck-fuckered tired. Listening to the radio really loudly doesn't work. Neither does singing. I just fade into the backup. I tried something yesterday, however, that works a treat, albeit temporarily.
What could such a solution be?! What stroke of genius?! Is it thumping your noggin with a very large, half-full water bottle? No, no, silly rabbit. Could it be opening the windows to create a virtual tornado in your car? You know - blowing your face off and your ears in? No. No. What about plucking arbitrary hairs from your arm, that will induce owee-howling pain? Nyet. (Bugger knows how to spell it. I care.)
I just YELL really loudly. With the aforementioned windows open, radio on full volume and water bottle on standby. But just "HAAAWROAROAOOWOAAAAAAHLAAAL!!!!!" It kaks my head into the conscious. Then after about twenty seconds it wears off. So I have to do it again. "BOOOALALALALALALALALAYADDA _RAAAAAAAAAAAAAPOOO!" Then there's usually a bit of a backup in traffic which for some reason also brings me out of my driving coma. Balls. It sucks saggy crack sack. (Earlier tweet of mine to be credited here.)
But YAY for a temp solution. If you have anything better let me know. You should not include energy drinks here. I can't afford (in all senses of the word) five Red Bulls a week, as yummy as they may be. Nor those horrid Monster things. And I hate Play.