FINALLY! Half-Arsed-A Chef!

I don't need to bring to your attention the flood of crappy cooking shows occupying our screens at the moment.

We have the cringe-worthy, yet funny, Come Dine With Me. A show that's only saving quality is in the form of narrator Dave Lamb. It's fairly fun and easy to make fun of people who take themselves too seriously.

The glories of Come Dine With Me

We had the overly-serious, 'THIS IS FOOD, YOU TREAT IT LIKE LIFE OR DEATH, YOU USELESS ARSEHOLES" attitude of the original UK Masterchef. A constant air of failure, tension and pressure. A bit unpleasant to be frank.

"We are foodies and you will never be as superlatively AMAZING as us! Pttooey!" 

Then we have the much-loved, and much-improved Masterchef Australia: a marathon competition combining natural talent and development of skills, along with George's rocking heels and Matt Preston's cravat. Also serious, but with a positive and helpful vibe.

"Ebb-solutely beautfal"

Then... oh bless, we were introduced to Masterchef South Africa. Just a week ago. Episode two tonight. Despite good production and a good mechanic, thanks to MC Aus, the desperate attempt to take themselves too seriously has already played against the resident judges. I think I'll leave it there.

Haaaaa... I actually can't even. 

So in this whirlwind of the same but different cooking competitions, a solution was needed.

I'm delighted to introduce to you a REAL South African cooking show.

A cooking show that brings the best out of our Saffa disposition, and our local cuisine!

Oh! The pressure!

Ooh - the RAWNESS!

Oo - just watch "Half-Arsed-A Chef: The Boerie Tower Challenge" mkay?

Let me know what you think ;) 

I do love a good, juicy Gherkin...

There's nothing better than a GOOD, locally written book.

I'm John vd Ruit's biggest fan because he took his life in our ever-exciting, ever-interesting and diverse country and turned it into one of the funniest books ever to come out of SA.

So you can imagine my elated JOY when I was sent a copy of "Year of the Gherkin", a hilarious piece of local lit by author John Dobson.

Also written in diary format, Dobson's taken the tsunami of social media and it's affect on our lives and how we interact with each other, and turned it into a priceless paper-box of giggles. See for yourself in this extract:

SUNDAY 7 FEBRUARY

Went on to S’s fb page, seems like she has had a very social weekend, which is not ideal. And for ‘Looking For’, the answer is ‘friendship’. At least it says she is interested in men, open-minded and indifferent to religion. There is hope, Jason. 

She looks hot in her profile pic – then most do. Like a fat chick is obviously going to post a head-and-shoulders or if her dial is also muck then they post like something of their cat. But you must be careful. I saw this girl Erin on Facebook who was a friend of Tam’s. She looked half decent and thought that Tam may have a doable friend – but then when I met her, as Dawesy says, caveat emptor. Translated from Latin as voetstoots.

 

Was thinking if Siobhan was a car, she would be like a Saab. Quite cool, bit exotic, not the absolutely best-looking, a good reputation, but you really do not know that much about her. Cheryl from the gym would be a Toyota – solid and reliable, practical and useful, and common, and normally always there for you. Tam (my ex) would be like a Rav4 – cool a long time ago. Leslie my sister would be a 1978 Mercedes – built for comfort, but nowadays squat and ugly. Mich would be a Nissan – got all the features, but you do not really want to go there. Lettuce (Slug’s mrs) would be like a Smart Car – original, but like weird,  a gimmick, stay well clear. There was this girl from first year, I cannot remember her name, but we actually called her Volksie – after the original Beetle – noisy, popular and everyone had a go. Also her engine was at the back.

Units of alcohol in 2010: nervous 90s.

Current account: too scared to log on and check.

Credit available: ditto.

"Also her engine was at the back."??? It's not great for one's airplane etiquette to guffaw regularly.

What with the social media driven topicality of the book, what better way to let people know about it than through the internets? HOW *NOT* IRONIC, right?

The book's lead character, Jason, has a twitter handle and FB page to interact with you. Jason's a funny dude, and if you do like his interaction online, I can promise you that you'll love the book.

In what's quite a novel approach, the publishers are going to be releasing an iTunes app to let potential readers get to know Jason better.

I love the whole approach for several reasons, not the least of which is character-driven literature. There's nothing more appealing than a really well constructed character. We're also seldom given the opportunity to learn a lot about a book before buying it. Blurbs and reviews are vague, and seldom give you a good idea of the writing style you can expect. So this idea of interacting with the lead character is fantastic.

If you're not sold on the book yet, follow Jason around and see if he draws you in. I, personally, can't wait to see how this all pans out. Great concept, great book!

Why Is Katherine Heigl trying to look like Helen Mirren?

Let me first unequivocally state that I think all women want to look like Helen Mirren when they grow up. The woman is 67, and has somehow done the near impossible, and aged like a fine wine. She is impeccably stylish, yet age-appropriate, she's had little or no surgery and is still a sex-bomb.

Then you have Katherine Heigl. Yes, she's a mommy. And some may think her perpetual styling as a '40s Hollywood starlet is some kind of homage to Marilyn Monroe - I don't think it is. Behold! The evidence!

Heigl is 33. THIRTY THREE. She can still pull off long hair, edgy outfits and a bit of trendy style. Frankly, her attempts at that ageless Glamour don't work. ScarJo works it, Evan Rachel Wood works it, Rachel McAdams (sometimes) works it. Katherine, I'm sorry to say, just ages herself by another 33 years.

Now, this is a woman who is a stunner. She's hot. She doesn't need to look 67, even though it appears she is emulating the hottest 67 year old out there.

I realise these three pics are terribly typical "sex-kitten" poses. That were probably taken when she was in her twenties. But her attempt at a more 'mature' style is putting YEARS on the girl. 

But hey, who doesn't love Helen Mirren? 

Lil bit of lovely

My gorgeous friend who is State-Side, Rachel, posted this video on Facebook.

500 Days of Summer is one of those "got to love it" movies. If you haven't watched it, do thyself the favour.

It is just too adorable - Zooey Deschanel AND Joseph Gordon-Levitt - because they KNOW we will never be able to get enough of them together.

Enjoy, a little bit of lovely cuteness ahead of New Year's Eve.

How did I miss this??!

Dineo Lusenga was in for Sash this morning, and she asked me if I'd heard of "Sophia Grace". Well, I hadn't, but Dineo is now my favourite for introducing me to this:

A little, pommie, white kid with THAT much swag? Nah-uh! But wait, there's more!

I could die from the cuteness. But it's more than lolcats cute. Such confidence! It's so great to see a child who's been brought up without that doubtful child-complex. (You know the ones who have the 'grown-ups know better and I should thus shut up' complex?) Such a treat.

Another one:

Stuart Hobbs sent me this on Facebook too. It's Stannis Baratheon speaking. Who's voice is that? Stephan Dillane. I thought it was Faramir's (that guy from LOTR and 300) voice, but alas.

Here it are:

"A Clash of Kings" teaser trailer...

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll already know how addicted I am to the Songs of Ice and Fire series of books by George R.R. Martin. This is of course the series of books that gave us that amazing TV show, Game of Thrones.

A Game of Thrones is the first book in the series. The second is called A Clash of Kings.

And we're a few months away from series two…

This was a fanmade youtube thingie. but watevs.

Didn’t you just get he heebie-jeebies?? I mean, it shows you nothing from the new series, bastards. Everything else seems to be along the same lines. Spring 2012 probably means it’ll be out in the US in May. Which also means we’ll be waiting a while, but at least there’ll be a better trailer by then.

Here's another that has some "spoilers":

It's a bit confusing, because in A Clash Of Kings, Daenerys' dragons aren't quite that large. They did use scenes from the later books in A Game of Thrones too though, so no harm I'm sure. 

Play Resumes…

MUAAAHAAAAHAAA!